Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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