Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
