It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
