Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
