is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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