Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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