would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
