So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So vagazzling was a success
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
