Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
