All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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