this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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