I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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