I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
