There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
