Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
