ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he puts the penis in happiness.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
