I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
