Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
