You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
