I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
