I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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