what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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