so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
