So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
