What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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