Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Quick, to the slutcave!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Drunk is not a location!
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