Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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