consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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