we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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