No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Are we still banned from the library?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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