i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
