ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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