I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Small penises have feelings too.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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