There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
