i may or may not be watching the land before time
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
do nipples grow back?
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