those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
