i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
