babies were throwing up all over the place
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
