Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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