trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I smell like Dick and happiness
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
