Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
