i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
