He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
