How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
