His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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