Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
