pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
