You really coming over, don't trick.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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