I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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