New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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