okay pat passed out under dana's car
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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