from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
