Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
